Bullies Beware!
By Brett King, RMCA Principal
What do you remember about your childhood and adolescent years? For
me, that question brings up a whole host of thoughts. I can recall good
times camping and water-skiing. I remember learning to ride a bike.
I remember struggling with some subjects in school and enjoying others.
I remember teachers who cared and others who seemed indifferent. I remember
wondering why some kids liked me and other kids did not. I remember
being picked on by some kids and picking on others. However, the irritation
I gave and received fell far short of what is commonly referred to as
bullying today.
Unfortunately, bullying is an all-too-common experience
that many kids face. The Journal of the American Medical Association
reported that one-third of U.S. students experience bullying, either
as a target or an instigator. It is also a phenomenon that is not isolated
to the United States. Other resources I reviewed suggest bullying is
also an international problem.
Bullying has consequences. It is not a harmless rite of
passage that is best ignored. For the bully, there is a strong correlation
between bullying other students and experiencing trouble as an adult.
For the victim, bullying can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and
poor motivation or performance in school. One report revealed that 7%
of eighth graders stay home from school at least once a month because
of bullying. The bottom line: bullying hurts!
What exactly is bullying? This is a very important question.
The term is used frequently but is frequently misunderstood. Bullying
does not refer to those irritating or annoying conflicts that are a
normal part of interacting with people in close proximity. Nor does
it refer to those occasions when emotions flare and students engage
in a verbal or physical argument. Rather, the definition of bullying
is very specific. Bullying occurs when another person or group intentionally
and continually tries to control or hurt another person. According to
the Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence at the University
of Colorado, bullying has three criteria: it is aggressive or intentional;
is repeated over time; and takes place in a relationship characterized
by an imbalance of power.
There are generally three types of bullies. (1) Physical
bullies may hit, kick, and gesture. They may also damage or take the
property of the victim. (2) Verbal bullies intentionally use words to
hurt or humiliate others. Threats, name-calling, derogatory comments,
and incessant teasing are the standard fare for the verbal bully. (3)
Social or relational bullies work to convince their peers to exclude
or isolate a person from a social group. More common among girls, they
use rumors and gossip to exercise power over their victims.
Bullying is not an acceptable behavior at RMCA. One of
our core standards of conduct states that “students are to treat
one another with respect and courtesy, speaking to each other in ways
that build-up, not put-down.” We continually communicate this
standard to students and strive to correct them when we find out that
it is violated. Does bullying still happen? Yes. Are we aware of every
incident of bullying? No. Most bullying occurs during unstructured activities
such as recess when bullies know they are less likely to get caught.
Unfortunately, bullying victims are often reluctant to
tell an adult. That is why it is important to talk to your kids about
this issue and enlist our help when you notice problems. Bullying does
not just go away on its own.
There is good news about bullying. Bullying generally
peaks in the early adolescent years and significantly diminishes during
the high school years. Research also shows that when members of a school
community work together, bullying can be curbed. With parents informed,
teachers equipped, and students empowered, bullies better beware!
For a bibliography of the resources behind this
article, click
here. For more information on bullying, check the parent
resources page.
